When I first explored themselves vs. themself, I realized this debate isn’t just about grammar or curiosity; it sits right at the intersection of traditional rules and the rise of singular they. In my experience as a writer and editor, many students, professionals, and editors struggle with whether using themself is correct or if themselves should always be preferred. The evolution of inclusive language has made this topic more relevant, and knowing the usage is essential to communicate clearly.
This comprehensive guide breaks down the grammatical and historical evidence, sharing modern style positions and linguistic logic. Personally, I find it helpful to look at practical examples to understand when each form can be used. By the end, you will know exactly how to use themselves, when themself may be acceptable, and the best ways to avoid common mistakes.
From my perspective, mastering this distinction comes down to context. Observing writers, editors, and students in their practical work shows that clarity improves when linguistic logic and historical evidence guide usage, rather than rigid adherence to traditional rules. It’s about being precise, empathetic with inclusive language, and confident in your correct choices, ensuring your sentences reflect both accuracy and style.
Themselves vs. Themself — The Clear Difference in One Rule
If you want the simplest possible rule:
Use “themselves” in all formal and standard writing.
That is the safe, widely accepted choice.
“Themself” exists historically and appears in modern informal and identity-specific contexts, but it is still considered nonstandard in most formal grammar systems.
Here’s a quick comparison:
| Form | Grammatical Status | Best Used In | Example |
| Themselves | Standard English | Academic, business, publishing | Each student should prepare themselves. |
| Themself | Nonstandard but resurging | Informal, identity-based contexts | Each person should decide for themself. |
| In professional writing, academic essays, journalism, and corporate communication, “themselves” remains correct. |
What Is a Reflexive Pronoun? Grammar Foundations You Need
To understand “themselves vs. themself,” you must first understand reflexive pronouns.
A reflexive pronoun refers back to the subject of the sentence. It usually ends in -self or -selves.
Examples:
- I taught myself.
- She prepared herself.
- They blamed themselves.
Reflexive pronouns serve two main purposes: - To show that the subject and object are the same person.
- To emphasize the subject.
Complete List of English Reflexive Pronouns
| Subject | Reflexive Pronoun |
| I | myself |
| You (singular) | yourself |
| He | himself |
| She | herself |
| It | itself |
| We | ourselves |
| You (plural) | yourselves |
| They | themselves |
| Notice something important: | |
| “They” takes “themselves.” | |
| This is why traditional grammar insists on using themselves, even when “they” is singular. |
Singular They Explained Clearly
The confusion about themselves vs. themself becomes clearer once we understand singular they.
Singular “they” is used to refer to:
- A person whose gender is unknown.
- A person who prefers gender-neutral pronouns.
- A generic individual.
Example: - If anyone calls, tell them I’ll respond later.
This is not new. Singular “they” has been used for centuries.
Writers who used singular they: - Geoffrey Chaucer
- William Shakespeare
- Jane Austen
- Charles Dickens
Singular they is recognized today by major style guides including: - APA (American Psychological Association)
- Chicago Manual of Style
- MLA
- AP Stylebook
Singular They + Reflexive Form — Where Confusion Begins
Here is the tension:
“They” can now be singular.
But “themselves” still looks plural.
So some writers argue:
If “him” becomes “himself,” and “her” becomes “herself,” shouldn’t singular “they” become “themself”?
Logically, yes.
Grammatically, tradition says no.
That’s the core of the themselves vs. themself debate.
The Evolution of Themself and Themselves
Many people assume “themself” is a new invention.
It is not.
Early English Usage
In Middle English (roughly 1100–1500), “themself” actually appeared in texts. During this period:
- Reflexive pronouns were not fully standardized.
- Variations were common.
Over time, English grammar regularized plural reflexives with -selves endings.
So: - Himself
- Herself
- Itself
But: - Themselves (plural)
As grammar became standardized during the 16th and 17th centuries, “themself” faded from formal use.
Historical Timeline
| Period | Usage Trend |
| Middle English | Both “themself” and “themselves” used |
| Early Modern English | “Themselves” becomes dominant |
| 18th–20th century | “Themself” largely disappears from standard grammar |
| 21st century | “Themself” reappears in inclusive language discussions |
| The modern resurfacing of “themself” is linked directly to singular they. |
Modern Grammar Rules — When to Use Themselves
In standard modern English:
Use “themselves” in all formal writing.
This applies to:
- Academic papers
- Legal writing
- Business communication
- News articles
- Published books
Example: - Every employee must identify themselves at the entrance.
Even though “employee” is singular, grammar tradition requires themselves.
Major style guides recommend pairing singular “they” with “themselves.”
Why?
Because: - It avoids confusion.
- It aligns with established grammatical patterns.
- It maintains consistency.
In short: The safest professional choice is always “themselves.”
Is Themself Making a Comeback?
Yes, but cautiously.
“Themself” appears more often in:
- Social media
- Online forums
- Identity-focused writing
- Linguistic discussions
Some linguists argue:
“Language evolves to match logic and usage.”
From a purely structural standpoint:
- Himself (singular)
- Herself (singular)
- Themself (singular they)
The logic is consistent.
However, institutional grammar systems move slowly.
Acceptance in Contemporary Style Guides
Here is the current reality:
| Style Guide | Position on Themself |
| APA | Uses singular they + themselves |
| Chicago | Recommends themselves |
| MLA | Uses themselves |
| AP | Uses themselves |
| No major mainstream style guide fully endorses “themself” as standard. |
Non-Binary Pronouns and Language Adaptation
The rise of non-binary identities has influenced this debate.
Some individuals who use “they” as a singular personal pronoun prefer:
- Themself (to emphasize singular identity)
Others prefer: - Themselves (aligned with standard usage)
Important principle:
Respect personal pronoun preferences when referring to individuals.
Grammar rules should never override respect in identity-specific contexts.
Themselves vs. Themself — Real-World Usage Examples
Academic Writing
Correct:
- Each researcher must defend themselves.
Incorrect (in formal academic context): - Each researcher must defend themself.
Business Communication
Correct:
- Every applicant should present themselves professionally.
Inclusive Identity Context
Acceptable depending on preference:
- Alex prepared themself for the interview.
This is acceptable if Alex personally prefers “themself.”
Informal Writing
In blogs, social posts, or personal essays:
- A person should trust themself.
This may appear, but it is still not widely standardized.
Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
Mistake One: Mixing Singular and Plural Agreement
Incorrect:
- Each student must submit their project by themselves.
Correct: - Each student must submit their project by themselves. (This is actually correct because singular they is acceptable.)
Mistake Two: Using Reflexives Without Need
Incorrect:
- Please contact John or myself.
Correct: - Please contact John or me.
Reflexive pronouns must refer back to the subject.
Mistake Three: Overcorrecting
Some writers avoid singular they entirely:
- Each student must submit his or her project.
This is grammatically correct but can sound outdated.
Modern best practice: - Each student must submit their project.
Practical Comparison Table — Themself vs. Themselves
| Feature | Themselves | Themself |
| Standard Grammar | Yes | No |
| Formal Writing | Recommended | Avoid |
| Academic Acceptance | Universal | Rare |
| Informal Usage | Common | Growing |
| Logical Singularity | Debatable | Strong |
| The table shows why the debate continues. |
Inclusive Language and the Role of Singular They
Inclusive language aims to:
- Avoid gender assumptions
- Represent identity accurately
- Increase clarity
Singular they has become mainstream.
Corporations, universities, and governments now routinely use it.
Example policies: - “Employees may update their pronouns in the HR system.”
The reflexive form remains “themselves” in most institutional writing.
Case Study: Corporate Policy Update
A multinational company updated its employee handbook.
Old version:
- Each manager must evaluate himself or herself.
Updated version: - Each manager must evaluate themselves.
This change: - Reduced wordiness
- Increased inclusivity
- Followed modern grammar standards
Notably, the handbook did not use “themself.”
Quick Self-Test — Which Is Correct?
Choose the correct option:
- Every driver must protect (themself/themselves).
- The candidate prepared (themself/themselves).
Answers: - Themselves (standard).
- Themselves (unless identity preference specifies otherwise).
Final Cheat Sheet — Themself or Themselves?
If you remember only five facts:
- “Themselves” is grammatically standard.
- Singular they is fully accepted.
- Major style guides use “themselves.”
- “Themself” exists historically.
- “Themself” is emerging but not formally standard.
The One-Line Rule
When in doubt, use “themselves.”
Conclusion
Understanding themselves vs. themself is more than a grammar exercise—it’s about communicating clearly, respecting inclusive language, and following both traditional rules and modern guidance. By observing writers, editors, and students, and studying historical evidence alongside practical examples, you can confidently choose the correct form. Remember, knowing when to use themselves or themself, and how to avoid common mistakes, ensures your writing remains precise, professional, and empathetic.
FAQs
Q1. When should I use themselves?
Themselves is typically used as the reflexive form for plural subjects. For example, “The students taught themselves the lesson.” It’s the safer, more traditional choice and is widely accepted in both formal and informal contexts.
Q2. Is themself ever correct?
Themself can be used for singular they in modern, inclusive language. For instance, “Someone left themself a note.” While less traditional, it aligns with contemporary linguistic trends and is supported in some modern style positions.
Q3. How can I avoid common mistakes with these forms?
The best strategy is to identify whether the subject is singular or plural, and then apply the grammatical rules accordingly. Review practical examples, check historical evidence, and follow modern style guidelines to ensure clarity.
Q4. Why s the rise of singular they important?
The rise of singular they has brought themself into more frequent use, making awareness of both forms essential. Writers, students, and professionals must balance traditional rules with evolving inclusive language practices.
Q5. How can understanding linguistic logic improve my writing?
Applying linguistic logic helps you know exactly when to use themselves versus themself, ensuring your sentences are both correct and clear. This reduces common mistakes and improves communication across formal, academic, and everyday writing contexts.
